Inspired

Today I read another blog and just had to write about it. It’s by someone I sort of know via the Darren Hayes FC days and she has the same skin disorder I have. Before I go on I would just like to say a big thanks to you Carly Findlay, for being my inspiration. Your spirit and inner strength is amazing, and I have learnt so much from you by reading your blogs.

Those of you who know me well will know, that ever since I can remember I have done a lot of writing, whether it be articles, essays for college, personal things (similar to a diary), letters to friends (handwritten) amongst lots of other stuff. Yet it is only these last few weeks I have ’discovered’ the great online world of blogging. I am now kicking myself that I haven’t done this sooner, because it’s a great way to communicate and to really express myself through writing, also a great means of somewhere I can go ’online’ to just be myself. Also ever since I became involved in the Ichthyosis Support Group in 1998 and was the Northern Area Rep, I’ve strived to educate the wider public about Ichthyosis. I have so far done this via articles, being invited to do talks for various organisations and at various fundraising events. And what better way to further educate people about Ichthyosis than a blog, like I say I just wish I’d thought of doing it sooner d’oh!

Oh well, I’m here now and I plan to make the most of posting blogs about various things - apoloogies if some of them end up being quite long too eeek! I know some of this I’ve already mentioned in my introduction of my blog, but anyway...

Reading Carly’s blog, well I can’t begin to explain really. Sorry if I offend you Carly, that is certainly NOT my intention, but so much of what you say I can relate to in many ways. Every time I read about what you’ve said about your Ichthyosis I find myself saying to myself, “that’s exactly how I feel” or even thinking “are you writing about me, or is it me writing this?” lol I also know that if any of my other friends who know me well, were to read your blogs they’d know exactly what I mean by this. Your positive outlook on life, your general ‘get on with it’ attitude is something I too have always had towards my Ichthyosis (I have Bullous Ichthyosis -aka EHK by the way). Family friends who know me well, often say to me “How do you always manage to have a smile on your face with what you have to put up with?” I simply answer “I just do, it’s just me. I’ve never known any different as regards my skin condition so there’s no point complaining about it. I’ve accepted my condition and I just get on with life and make the most of it as best I can”. There are plenty of people in this world who are far worse off than myself and if I can help those then I will.

In fact, reading Carly’s blogs has given me the incentive to start writing openly about my illness. Usually I tend not to even let on if I’m in pain or sore or whatever, (let’s face it, can you imagine if I had a pound for every time I had a sore, a blister or was in pain my God I’d be rich lol - oooh maybe I should start a new business venture lol - joke!) because I’m the kind of person that just gets on with it, and my answer whenever anyone asks me “How are you?” I pretty much always say in reply “I’m fine or I’m not too bad thanks”. This is mainly because I don’t like people thinking that all I do is moan. That’s another one of my ‘weaknesses’ if you like, I tend to care too much about what other people think. Sometimes I do have the mindset depending on my mood and think “sod the lot of ya, I don’t give a toss what you think, so what?” But then sometimes I think, “have I offended them, do they think bad of me?” Call it paranoia, call it an insecurity, or whatever, I don‘t know. But it‘s just the way I am, I‘m a people pleaser I suppose you could say. This kind of attitude runs in my family, laid back, taking things with a pinch of salt etc. But now I’ve finally found a way of letting go, I just hope that I can ’let go’ so that you can see another side of ‘my world’.

Thanks again Carly, keep it up and I very much so look forward to more of your blog entries. Hope you’re feeling better soon by the way ;-)